Almost Whale Food: watch this kayaker’s insane close call

This story is WILD...or rather, from the wild.

Two guys are enjoying a day on the water, kayaking the Strait of Magellan off Chile’s Patagonian coast. Little did they know, they were almost the main characters in a Moby Dick reboot!

I’m not sure what all of the words that were said in this video mean, but I can tell you I know that “tranquillo” means stay calm, and that is the absolute last thing you will find me doing after being eaten, and spit back out, by a whale.

@providencenews
A humpback whale swallowed a kayaker off the coast of Chile, then immediately released him. Adrián Simancas said it happened so fast that the real fear didn’t set in until he was back at the surface of the water. His father, Dell, captured it all on camera. Adrián said, when he surfaced, he immediately worried that his father had been harmed. Both men are ok and say they will return to the area to go kayaking. (In this interview, Adrián is on the left and Dell is sitting next to him, on the right.) Video: Dell Simancas #swallowedbywhale #chile #kayak #humpbackwhale #chileanpatagonia
♬ original sound - Providence Now

Now, before you start picturing a Jonah-and-the-whale situation, thankfully, this wasn’t that dramatic. Humpback whales don’t actually have throats big enough to swallow a human. The whales were simply feeding, and the kayaker got in the way.

Still...imagine being inside a whale’s mouth, even for a few seconds. The sheer terror. The smell. THE SLIME. The...whale-ness of it all.

Nope.

No thank you.

The whole incident is a stark reminder that nature is powerful, unpredictable, and sometimes, just plain terrifying. Also, maybe stick to whale watching from a boat. Just a thought.